A Lesson in Graditute

I woke last Sunday morning to a message sound on my phone. Hopeful that it was the New Man, I scurried over to my phone to find a message from another man. A man who has diligently been trying to get into my pants since the day that he met me (shortly after I left my husband). I was disappointed that it wasn’t the New Man and a bit irritated that I was waking to messages from a man who I have made it very clear to “it’s never going to happen”. He was going on and on about how beautiful the beach was where he is now visiting to buy an investment property. He has made it very clear that he would love for me to consider moving to this foreign land with him.

I was very aware that part of my irritation was not about this other man, but rather about the end nearing of the New Man’s era in my life. I have known since day one that he would be leaving the area in late May, but as it draws closer I have been grasping for a few last moments ecstasy with him. So, waking to the hopeful sound of communication from him to be disappointed once I reached my phone left me quite grumpy for the day.

I threw on some sweat pants and a hoodie and headed out to grocery store. Somberly did my grocery shopping quickly as to avoid as many small town acquaintances as possible. As I was checking out, the always flattering checker asked me “where are your flowers?” He was right, I buy myself flowers every single week at the store and failed to do so today due to my bad attitude that had been provoked by my early morning messaging. His question woke me up in a way, making me realize that I was being a bit consumed by the New Man leaving. I went a found a simple, closed bunch of lilies and returned to the check out with them before he was finished ringing up my order. I thanked him for pointing out that I had forgotten my flowers for the week; I really do enjoy having fresh flowers to come home to. The checker completed my order, I paid and then realized that he forgot to ring up the flowers. He said “I did that on purpose. I want to buy you flowers this week”. As I always do when people are trying to give me anything, I insisted that he not buy them, he insisted that he was going to.

I took the next day off from work and scheduled a massage that I had been gifted, ironically by the man whose message I awoke to the day before. I just needed a day to myself to kick my gloomy attitude. As I was walking with the massage therapist she observed “you are very lucky to have someone attentive enough in your life to realize when you need a massage”. And once again, she was totally right. I am in no way attracted to the man who gifted me the massage, but I am still very lucky to have him in my life.

After a wonderful massage and soak I picked up my children from school and headed home to start our routine for the even. The first words to come out of my daughter’s mouth as we walked in the door were “mommy, look at how beautiful the flowers are now. That was so nice of the man at the store to give then to us”. Everywhere that I turned someone or something was showing me how much I have to be grateful for in my life, with or without the New Man. It was exactly what I needed; for my energy to be redirected and focused on gratitude for everything my life already has. Rather then moping around about the one small piece that I am losing.

The next morning I decided it was time to say my goodbyes to the New Man. I didn’t want the looming feeling of knowing the goodbye was coming and my recent lessons in gratitude made it much easier for me to focus on what the New Man has already provided me with and how grateful I will always be to him for helping me find the strength to finally let go. It was fun. He was fun. I am grateful. Moving on…

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