Putting it all in Perspective

I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason and every person that comes into your life is in it for a reason. I have felt very strongly about this since going through my divorce and the concept continues to reinforce itself in my life everyday.

The first person came into my life that made me a true believer I met the very day that I came back from the trip where all secrets were exposed and my marriage was all but over. To this day, I call her my guardian angel. At the time, I was helping coach a local rec. league sport and came to practice completely out of sorts due to everything that was unraveling in my life. I did my best to hold it together well enough to lead practice. There was a new, very beautiful and very vibrant woman at practice. I introduced myself, as did she and began leading practice for the day. Fifteen minutes into practice, I mispronounced her name and was quite taken back by her alpha demeanor as she corrected me. Normally, such behavior would have completely turned me off towards a personality. However, it was exactly the dominance I needed in such a broken down, scared state.

She quickly became one of my closest friends, the only one in which I confided in throughout my divorce. She was my strongest supporter, she lifted me up in my weakest moments, she has always so whole heartedly believed in me that it has forced me to believe in myself, she made me feel wanted when everyone in my life was shutting me out of their lives. It was the loneliest, scariest time in my life; one that I am not sure if I would have had the strength to survive if it weren’t for presence of my guardian angel. I will forever be so grateful for her and whatever it was that put her in my life when I needed her most.

Since then, I have never doubted the importance of a single new person that has walked into my life and am constantly speculating the reason for their presence. But the newest addition in my life may be the most unexpected one that has walked in. As closing time was approaching at my restaurant a few nights ago, a young man walked in and asked if we were still open. I said yes, offered him a seat at the bar, and took his order. I continued to do my end of night tasks as I waited for his meal to be cooked. It caught me a little of guard when the first thing he said to me after five minutes of silence, watching me clean was “excuse me ma’am, I just have to say this. You may be the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen”.

Clearly, he had gotten my attention. I chatted with him about why he was here and what he was doing in this little town. He was far from the average demographic profile for this area. He asked me, as he was paying, if there was any way that he could see me again before he left town. A week prior to this conversation, I’m not sure that I would have had the courage to say yes to a man who I had never met and clearly comes from a very different life than anything I have ever known. But something has definitely been changing in me lately with the exist of the new man; my need to roam, explore and experience new things in life continues to grow.

The next night I went out to dinner with him. He is a very fit, thirty-two year old black man from Detroit. As we talked, I found out that he really does come from an extremely different life from myself. I would have never imagined having to contemplate in my head on a date “should I not ask why he was in prison for ten years? Is that one of those pieces of information that you wait for someone to offer?” He never did say why he was in prison, just said that he was a stupid nineteen year old kid that got caught up in a gang.

He was also the most polite, courteous, respectful, flattering, optimistic guys I have ever been on a date with before. Listening to him talk about his life and upbringing was such a beautiful reminder of what an amazing life I have and how lucky I am to life is such a beautiful place, surrounded by amazing people. Apparently, the universe thought that I needed one more BIG reminder of all that I have to be grateful for in my life. Listening to my new Unexpected Friend certainly put all of my recent griping and frustrations into perspective. So grateful for my life, guardian angels and new friendships.